Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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