jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize