i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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