break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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