ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
