Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
