I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
