Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
