I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
