Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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