She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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