accomplished twins. life is a go
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
