How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
