Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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