where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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