Nicole vs. Life
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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