She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
