P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
