i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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