im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
