Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
