when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
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No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends