mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i've created a new STD.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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