Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.