i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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