I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
