i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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