they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have feelings that need drinking.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
