Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
