He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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