I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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