i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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