Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
