You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
