I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
