I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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