Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
