I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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