this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there is puke in my bra ... again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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