Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
