just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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