Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
