My room smells like vodka and shame
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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