What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We named our party play list daddy issues
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
