So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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