listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
