Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
