so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize