I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
