i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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