I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
