i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
