remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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