They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
