chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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