I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
