And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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