This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
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I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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