No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
