yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
