so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
