Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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