The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My dad is sitting where you rode me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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