Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
