elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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