You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
