Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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