I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize