maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
