dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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